As of today my wisdom bank looks as follows -
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if you throw it hard enough
- Pillow fighting is about pillows fighting, and its really depressing. If those things are fighting.. what hope do we have
- When i see 2 geese fighting, I see a pillow fight ahead of time
- An empty circle is a pie chart about procrastination
- Game set match - Tennis <--> Set match run - Arson
- 15% of owners of all hummers are dildoes. Another 15% are douche bags.
- If you ever happen to come across a picture of the globe with a small dot somewhere in america, please return my potrait. I had it done from a distance.
- I think the worst time to have a heart atack is during a game of charades, especially if your team is really bad at guessing
- Vests are about protection.. bulletproof vests protect you from bullets.. sweater vests protect you from pretty girls
- Drowning is a bad experience, but it would help a little if you were a little thirsty just before that
- You can say thanks, and you can say thanks a million, but any number in between.. na na.. imagine saying - thanks a 56
- 2 steps to becoming a bouncer - become an asshole.. stand at the door
- My policy - no stones thrown regardless of housing situation(glass house or not)
- Only people in glass houses should throw stones.. provided they are trapped inside
- Glass half full - now thats an optimist.. but what if its a glass with shit in it..
- Leather jacket -- cool .. leather vest -- not so cool .. deduction - cool is about leather sleeves
- Wings are awesome.. add it to any animal to make a mythical creature - Horse -> Pegasus.. Lion -> Griffin.. Hawk -> Double Hawk.. yeahhhh
- There should be video games to take care of all the guys who get shot at in all the other video games
- So my friend who is a parent told me - watch for kids. I thought it sounded like a fair trade, especially if they are crappy kids.
- I used to compete in sports a lot, until i found out that you can buy trophies. Now i am good at everything.
- Saying "I Apologize" is the same as saying "Iam sorry" unless you are at a funeral..
- Everything is pocket sized, if your ass is big enough
- Make sure your pyjamas have pockets, if you want to avoid holding on to things while sleeping
- I think pringles intended to make tennis balls. When they received potatoes instead of rubber, they were plain lazy and went ahead and cut them up
- I think they named oranges before they named carrots
- "Sort-of" is a harmless little filler , which means nothing , unless used after -"I love you", "You are gonna live", "Its a boy" -- it means everything then
Thats all for a peek into my borrowed wisdom stack.. as it stands today